Suffering is inevitable - but not for ever
A personal story of loss, compassion, and finding hope in the Dharma.
"All conditioned things are impermanent — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering."
Buddha – Dhammapada, verse 277
One of my dear friends from the Sangha, Kofi, has just suffered not one, but two bereavements – family members who passed unexpectedly. One was killed in a road traffic accident, the other suffered a stroke. Both were young, both left children behind. The fact that they were back home in rural Ghana and it was some weeks before he could return only sharpened the pain. Kofi – a fellow Buddhist – felt the teachings were not enough to get him through. In our quiet conversation, I told him I understood.
The Buddha says that everything that arises also passes away. Therefore, we shouldn’t worry about life’s tragedies, transient as they are. On an intellectual level, I get it. But to get it is not enough. Simple knowledge never helps. Bare facts are no comfort. To find the real solution, one must look beyond a theoretical understanding of Buddhism and feel it on an emotional level. While this sounds straightforward enough, absorbing this concept is the greatest challenge for any aspiring Buddhist.
Let me explain with an example from my own life. I have a ten-year-old son. A loving, innocent child – a cherished gift from the universe. To lose him would be an unmitigated catastrophe. Indeed, I am not sure if my wife or I could continue. However, according to the Buddha, it is always possible to recover from events, no matter how world-shattering. The pain, no matter how deep, will always pass eventually.
Since becoming a Buddhist some four years ago, I have not suffered any life-deranging tragedies. As such, my practice is untested. Still, merely knowing that others can bear tragedy is a prize in itself. The Buddha’s teachings – the Dharma – are not a problem-solving tool. Rather, they are a roadmap to a better place.
I met Kofi yesterday. Understandably, he is still low. However, he did share this same sentiment with me. To know that every sorrow will somehow, someday, cease provides a fragment of hope. We embraced before heading our separate ways. “Suffering is inevitable,” Kofi said. “But there is a window – and beyond it the bright blue sky.”
All we need to do is look up, and we will see reality as it is. Infinite.